Mindfulness

I had read a book recently about mindfulness. By definition, mindfulness is an adjective used to describe a person being "attentive, aware, or careful" and the book focused on the applicability of this in your life.

This concept isn't new. It is what every cliche saying reminds us of in a manner of unmistakable urgency:

"Live life to the fullest every moment, no one is promised tomorrow."

Better yet, my personal favorite:

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift... that is why they call it the present"

...haha cheeeeesy. Yes. I know.

But the concept has a point.

And I don't mean this from a "you could die tomorrow" sort of way. If that were the case, you would be living each moment with an attempt to fill it with the best memories, experiences and once-in-a-lifetime activities. If that were actually the case, I would hope you would have a little more on your mind than riding a bull named fu man chu.

I'm talking about just being in the moment. Even when doing mundane activities. I don't know about you, but this is contrary to every aspect of my life. And I wish it weren't. It seems as though I tune every sense out except those that present themselves with some sort of urgency...like the oven timer beeping or my phone ringing. By doing so, I am depriving myself of the simple pleasures... birds singing, wind chimes blowing...the evening breeze. Often times, I don't even notice these things! How sad, huh?

So I decided to do an experiment. Well the book wanted you to eat a raisin in "the moment"... but I chose an egg sandwich instead. (Get off my back, I was hungry) First bite... success! I tasted my food. I listened to the sound of my crunching. I heard the refrigerator humming. I saw Dolly staring at me from under the table, dreaming of the day that I drop my entire sandwich onto the floor. The next thing I remember was my last bite! I couldn't believe it. I couldn't even stay in the moment without my mind wandering for more than one bite! No wonder the book recommended you start with a raisin!

Side note: Have you ever heard of Intuitive Eating? I was reading about this and think this is a perfect example of mindfulness. It is supposed to completely change your relationship with food. Lets face it, most chronic dieters don't have a good relationship with food. Either, you love food a little too much (guilty as charged) or you have emotional issues that you avoid facing through eating food. Intuitive Eating is more for the people that just enjoy food too much. It teaches you to eat slowly, to enjoy every bite instead of just wolfing your food down. It also emphasizes listening to your body to know when to put the fork down. Eating, then, becomes a more fulfilling experience...which, in turn, makes you eat less. People swear this works....and I'd love to give it a try if I could get passed the first bite without regaining consciousness in the aftermath, wondering what happened to the contents on my plate. haha

Getting back on track... mindfulness...

But it just proved my point: most of my living in the "present"... I completely miss....because my mind is somewhere else! The book teaches you meditation to help you to become more "aware" of your surroundings in the present. I'm not really a meditation kind of girl... I'm more of the prayer type. Not saying that meditation is wrong... but I just feel more productive talking to God or being silent in His presence, than I do just sitting there trying with great effort to think about nothing.

Mindfulness affects so many aspects of your life. Think about how many times you are engaged in conversation with someone...but your mind is elsewhere. Even though you nod and appear to be listening, you only give the person 50% of your attention. How sad is that? What would happen if you gave someone 100% of your attention? For me, I think I have just ingrained it in myself that productivity comes from multitasking. I know this stems from my previous job... it was so fast paced that if you weren't doing 5 things at once, you were way behind. This mentality just carried on into my personal life. Which is one of the reasons I hate the phone; I feel so trapped. I can't just talk on the phone for an extended period of time. I am either browsing the Internet or pacing all around the house, thus, giving the person on the phone about 25% of my attention. I recognize this and am open about the fact that I don't enjoy phone conversations; I'd much rather talk face to face (or text). I can concentrate then... or at least won't be tempted to multitask in front of you. haha

It's funny, I will drive by houses and see people just sitting outside on their porch. In theory, I'd love to go sit on a porch...that sounds like a good idea, but I don't really believe it is a good idea. I secretly think to myself, what are they doing? Don't they get bored? Where is their preoccupation! They should be inside making dinner or doing the dishes or running errands... Or doing all 3 of those things at once! I am beginning to realize that I have it all wrong. Life is so much more than "doing" things or "going" places...or constantly finding ways to busy ourselves. Sometimes it is ok to slow down and soak in all that is around you... You may just find joy in the most unexpected places.

The "psychology lover" in me knows the importance of taking personal inventory and being self aware of your emotions and behavior. Mindfulness is just an extension of this. It sounds great in theory, but it is not easy. Quite the contrary.

Just for fun... challenge yourself today. Be mindful of "the present". Give everyone you talk to 100% of your attention. Better yet, give God 100% of your attention when you pray or read the Bible. Be mindful when you walk outside to get the mail. What do you hear? What do you see? Are you overlooking the blooming flowers? Or the butterflies fluttering by? Or the big, puffy clouds hanging overhead? Or the sound of jet engines blazing through the sky? (I am always mindful to that noise. haha It brings joy to my soul.) Wasn't this so much easier as a child? Didn't you notice everything back then? When did we lose that quality? Maybe it's not too late to get it back. :)

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Zip lines and Helicopter Rides... (and other such nonsense)

Seriously, shouldn't we get to vote on a new name for the Bachelorette? My nomination is Zip Lines and Helicopter Rides (and other such nonsense). I mean, right? Is anyone else observing this obnoxious repeat theme? What is their obsession with aerial tours and kiddie camp adventure activities? Miss Melissa, in the played-out-everybody's-been-there-prime-family-vacation-spot-excuse-for-an-"exotic"-island-that-is-Maui...with a zip line. Prove me wrong.

Oh. Hello Bachelorette. Did you run out of crazy-creative, over-the-top locations? Maui? Really?
I'm thinking ABC is running a little low on the budget... those fantasy suites looked like something you would find in a luxurious Hampton Inn. And what's up with Reid getting the short end of the stick? Allow me to explain. But not yet... hold your horses, we will evaluate Kiptyn first. We'll call him Kip... mostly because hearing the name Kiptyn is like nails on a chalkboard for me... don't know why. That, and it reminds me of Lipton Iced Tea. And, quite frankly, Kippy Kip is not that refreshing to me. So Kip it is. Let's recap, shall we?

Kip and Jillian reunite via Indiana Jones bridge. How convenient.

Jillian really needs to put their "trust" to the test since it is "hugely, hugely important to her"... and she "wants to make sure that when things get tough or there is challenges (You mean ARE challenges, Jillian! Sheesh.)...that [Kip] is there for me and today will be a great indication how [Kip] works in teams."

So, in other words, the optimal way to test "trust" and to see how a potential mate will react to real life difficulties and challenges... would be on a ropes course! Duh. Completely logical...makes perfect sense... totally realistic. Good call, Jillian.


Using Jillian logic, we have learned that when the going gets tough... Jillian turns into a total sissy-la la. If I were Kippy Kip, I would have just unhooked my rope and jumped. I couldn't imagine having to withstand a minute more of her nasely...whiny...pretend damsel-in-distress...help-me-I'm-just-a-girl-and-therefore-can't-have-any-athletic-ability ridonkulousness. Kip is a man with saint like patience.

So the last obstacle on the ropes course is "the leap of faith"... where they have to climb a sawed off telephone pole, stand there like a gymnast on a balance beam... and dismount onto a trapeze 36 feet away. More whine from Jillian. More regret from Kipper. Count down... they jump... she flails her body like a flounder out of water... maybe getting 2 feet of air. Kipster leaps in the most graceful arch (toes pointed and all) I've ever seen... easily grabbing the trapeze and dangling like a Ukrainian gymnast on the uneven bars. The scores are in... 9.5...9.5....9.2...8.0 (darn Chinese judge with unhuman expectations that only the Chinese can perform!)...9.7... and a perfect 10!! from Melissa!

He dangles ever so gracefully while she declares, " I was so close, did you see that?" Then looks up... "Oh you grabbed it!" I hope that she watches the instant replay and realizes how stupid she looks for even entertaining the idea that she was "so close". She looked like a toddler proudly retelling a tall tale of how death-defying and mind-boggling her "jump" was. Coming from a grown woman, it isn't cute; it is shameful.

Might as well dust off your bruised ego by... gasp!!... a zip line!! What? That has never been done before! I'm telling you... what an adventurer she is! She's a regular Muppet Baby! Too bad nanny's green and white striped stockings won't be waiting for you with soothing words and milk and cookies at the end of your zip line. Shucks.

Next, we have Kiparoo feeding Jillian strawberries. Why?? Who ever came up with the idea that feeding one another is romantic? I dare Jon to try to feed me something... he would be lucky if he didn't pull back a nubb for a hand. haha You can't bed fed gracefully; you will always look like an uncoordinated mule being fed a carrot at the petting zoo.

The mule and Kipapotomus then engage in a toast... "To 2nd chances at a leap of faith".
How very clever, Kip. You're a regular toastmaster.

Then comes dinner. Well, let me back up... then comes Jillian's one-piece pantsuit... and then comes dinner.

Blah, blah, blah... b.o.r.i.n.g. She asks him about his flaws... he tells her that he can be impatient (False, Kippo. We already saw your saint like patience on the ropes course.) and that he usually has "one foot in and one foot out" in relationships. Thanks for the honesty and total red flag... but Jillian likes red and she likes flags... so she will respond with an undeserved compliment... followed by a master-of-the-obvious question: "She trusts him the most... but what if you decide I'm not the one?" Well, if that's the case Jillian... I'm going to guess you won't live happily ever after with Prince Kipperoni.

She feels this is the most opportune time to pull out the loosey goosey fantasy suite card from her napkin (which Kiply called her out on. Good for you!) and reads the invitation... signed, Chris... to enjoy a night in an average looking Hawaii hotel room. Goooo romance! If I'm not mistaking... Chris either writes like a woman... or this invitation isn't really from Chris at all!! Dun. Dun. Duuuuun!!!

Jillian bestows yet another statement of depth and insight... "I have concerns, but I have to struggle to find those concerns"... and, therefore, that morsel of confession gives the go-ahead for loosey goosey night number 1.

K-dawg is just ok to me. There is nothing that really bugs me about him... but he doesn't really have a striking personality that makes me think he is anything great. I'll give him a B+ for existing without getting on my nerves.

Next up... Mr. Reid.

So, while Kipmeister arrived via Indiana Jones bridge... Reid arrives via Dodge Durango.

Which completely foreshadows the rest of Reid's jipped out date. Jillian awaits him, awkwardly holding a beach ball that, evidently, served no purpose and had no significance as to a clue of what they would be doing on their date. They walk across a grassy field with beautiful mobile home buildings gracing the scenic horizon. Jip number two.

He declares that he is "really, really happy to see her"... to which she responds, "ditto" or "me too"... you can't really tell... but I'll go with ditto for affect. Lo and behold... a squirrely chopper appears over the treeline...

Reid gets all excited since it is his first helicopter ride and Jillian gives him a high-5. Jip number three.

Jillian commentates that... "[a helicopter ride] is a great way for them to reconnect again." Really? Loud chopper blades... an echoing headset that even the pilot can partake in (or eavesdrop) on your conversation... or the fact that you just want to look out the windows at the scenery below... what part of that spells out "reconnect"?

Captain Pilot asks, "Is everyone ready?"
Jillian responds, "10-4".
Really? That is not an affirmative, Jillian. 10-4 is an acknowledgment.
Example... Mr. pilot gives a command, "buckle up your seat belts!"
Appropriate use: "10-4!" meaning... I heard you, I'm acknowledging what you've said and I'm doing it.
So... lets replay this:
Captain: "Is everyone ready?"
Jillian: "Acknowledged and doing it."
WHAT!?
Fool. Pilots, although mysterious creatures, use and understand a "yes" and "no" response. I know. It baffles me, too.

When the pilot explains that he is also an ordained minister and can perform aerial weddings, Jillian responds (to the minister!), "let's get this SH*T done!"
TO THE MINISTER!
He should have turned around and washed her potty mouth out with soap and holy water! Who says that to clergy!?
They land... and she reveals that she has a very special date planned for Reid.
Oh boy! Something new and exciting!
Nope, another picnic. Really? Special? A picnic for the zillionth time?

They have a serious conversation... Reid tells her that he is afraid of the time frame. While he is steadily developing feelings and things are moving in the right direction, it is all very fast and sort of rushed...and for someone like him (who needs time) it is hard.

Back to reality... this is the most normal thing that could be said on the show. And for that, he will be punished!

He continues to open up and show some vulnerability by admitting that he is not good at voicing emotion... that he is good at showing it.

She commentates, "Reid makes me feel different than any of the other guys... the feeling that I didn't think existed anymore." ... "I'm head over heels for Reid"... "Of all the guys here, I can relate to Reid the most".

He explains that he may be ready to propose and starts talking about everything Jillian is fishing to hear...and she cuts him off to make some stupid crack about him resembling the totem pole face. What a weird cookie.

Anyway, loosey goosey card comes and she "takes Chris up on his offer." Do you really think Chris... THE HOST... cares if you hussy it up in the loosey goosey room?! Anyway, Jillian is now 2 for 2. But who is keeping score?

So they go. And dump an entire bottle of Dawn dish soap into the bathtub, to the point that they can't even see each other. Gooo romance. Reid later calls it "One of the best nights of his life"... and probably one of the cleanest.

I like Reid the best. He is normal and isn't playing along with the "tell Jillian what she wants to hear" crap. He needs to go back to Philly, eat a steak sandwich and find a girl who isn't looking to get engaged in 12 weeks, no matter what the cost. Amen.

On to E.D.
The new tool.
So... Ed arrives to the Sailboat... as Jillian is staring off into the distance like she is a cotton pickin' Ralph Lauren model. No, sweetheart, this is not Martha's Vineyard... back to reality.

Ed, romantically and lovingly... and completely admiring Jillian's personality exclaims, "Jillian looked so tan and hot. I just wanted to attack her." Oh. Yes. The words every woman dreams of hearing. What a smooth operator.

I interrupt this analysis...we cannot go on any longer without talking about the elephant in the room. The Mankini. Seriously. Oh. My. Freaking. Gosh. What the EFF was going through his mind? Did he think he looked good? What. A. Tool.

And when I thought he couldn't get any more tool-y... he crossed his legs.
That's all I can say. I couldn't even pay attention because I was so nauseous... it was like a train wreck... you just couldn't look away. You hated what you saw (old man legs that were cut and bruised and hairless like a 94 year old man, but on a 29 year old's body) but were so in awe that he thought he was all that... and a bag of chips. (yeah. I said it. Bring you back to 7th grade, eh?)

So she meets the parents. And I LOVE that she has a total copplesaurus when meeting them. You know, the ted copple comb-over? The one strand of bang that just dangles across her sweaty forehead? Perfect.

She tells the parents that Ed is everything that she is looking for... which Mrs. Bear asks, "which is...?"
She responds, "Tall... dark, handsome...and beautiful eyes (nothing shallow here, right?)... and quickly corrects to his sense of humor (has anyone seen him laugh??), he is incredibly intelligent (as demonstrated... how?) and passionate about his job (the very thing he chose over you and left you for... and the very thing that you are so insecure about... all of a sudden becomes a good thing).

She goes outside to talk to mama bear.

Meanwhile, inside, Ed's dad says, "What the hell are we doing here? What is going on?!"
haha Love it. He's my new favorite. Go dad! Give your half-disappointed, half-ashamed tone to little Eddy bear.

Later Jillian and papa bear have a one on one. He says he wants to know about her. She responds with, "I'm from a small town. I've worked SO HARD in my life to go to school and to prove myself..." Waahh. Waahh. Shut. the. eff. up. Seriously, stop acting like you fought your way out of the projects, living a life of oppression... "proving" yourself along the way.
Seriously? Everything about her response... how cliche it is, how unauthentic it is, how she is just trying to say what she thinks is "right"...just needs to be retaliated against. She needs to be slapped.

They forego dinner to meet the parents... and end up out on the beach... shorty shorts and all.

She says, "today was perfect..." and he responds, "Yeah, I had a lot of fun."
And Reid has a hard time expressing his feelings?? You had a lot of.... FUN? So romantic.

Now, it may be shocking, but Jillian decides to go 3 for 3 with the loosey goosey room.

They go back... Ed declares that he is really "nervous" like ten times.

She goes into the bathroom and changes into this matronly, anything-but-sexy, long sleeved, over sized t-shirt looking ensemble with a deep V down to her navel. She prances out thinking she looks a little more enticing than what she really does.

He thinks it is "blazing hot... and the hottest thing he has ever seen". Apparently he doesn't get out much.

Tell me her leg doesn't look like an orange hot dog? Tell me! You can't. Either that is an incredible spray tan gone horribly wrong... or there is awful lighting... or she is a descendant of the Oompa Loompa tribe.

They continue to rub an obnoxious amount of goopy oil on each other and then... fade out...
lights off.... lights back on... camera back on... Ed looks like a dead animal on the bed.

He commentates, "I was very nervous. It just didn't happen. I wanted to show her I loved her and I just couldn't." Ok, Mr. Ed... you did this to yourself. All of America is watching... and those were the words you chose. Did I forget to mention that his parents call him Richie... but he chooses to be called ED? Was that a self-fulfilling prophecy or what? Anyone?

That is all I'm going to say about that. I'm seriously not making fun of him if this is a legitimate condition... but somehow I have a feeling this is all staged anyway. Like, why were the cameras still rolling all night for them but not for Reid and Kipso? Poor Ed... who would even sign themselves up for this scrutiny?

Regardless, she keeps Ed... and lets Reid go home! Seriously? With that ill-fitted, heinous selection of a suit??

I love the way Kipalot and Reid look at him when he arrives. Classic.

Sidenote: Am I the only one that noticed her getting ready and putting on these shoes...

...and then later shown wearing these flats? This observation serves no point... but I thought I'd point it out anyway.

Boo. Hoo. What a pouty face. Anyway. Back to Reid.

So she is sending him home. With this smug look on her face!!

Ugh! What did the hand say to the face?? SLLLLAAAPPPP!
That's what she needs.

So she sends Reid home via limo (heck, beats the Dodge Durango that he arrived in) and mourns on the bench. Mourns her stupidity.

Meanwhile, Mr. Ed comes to find her... while Kipsy waits where she left him in the grass...

Go away E.D.!! She needs to experience regret and remorse! She doesn't want to see you!

Anyway, next week there will be a startling confession. I think Ed is going to reveal that he is gay and that she does nothing for him. And then she will pick Kippy and Ed will ride home in the limo exclaiming... "first time ever... that someone has gotten to the top 2 on the Bachelorette... with a BOYFRIEND!"

Oh boy! Can't wait!

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I Think We Should...actually.

HAHA! PLEEEEEEEEAASE tell me y'all saw the Bachelorette last night! And PLEASE tell me it wasn't the funniest thing you've ever seen when Wes got the "Fantasy Suite" invitation...

What a tool.

Recap if you didn't see it.

Wes = Schmuck.
Jillian = Reinforced the stereotype that girls (in general) choose the bad boy/arrogant/self-consumed jerks and don't have any desire to give the "good guys" a chance.

PS. No. I am still not bitter about her sending Jake home.

Guy on the right... his name is tool.

Everyone can see through Wes... and really, I think she can, too. But she is going to prove everyone wrong... with a little bit of time, she is going to be the one girl that is able to make Wes like her more than he likes himself. (And boy isn't that a tall order!) There is something about "the chase" of a so-called bad boy that most girls just can't resist. When you have 20 other guys swooning over you... and one that plays it cool, most girls enthusiastically accept the challenge. But that can only last so long... at some point, defeat must be admitted. But not yet.

They meet in Barcelona. Jillian is quick with "I miiiissssed you!". Wes responds with, "Yeah, whatever. You say that to all the boys." hahaha 1 point to Wes!

"Wes and I have always had a special bond. I brought Wes here because I chose to trust him on his hometown date." Yeah. And what? Mr. Perfect Jake is all of a sudden a liar? (Gasp! at the thought!)

Why is it that you trust a person that EVERYONE warns you about? Oh, right. Answer: "I want Wes to be that man that I think he is. I adore him, I want to give him that chance..."

BINGO!!

I've got BINGO here!!! She has already made assumptions of what she wants Wes to be, what she hopes Wes will become. In other words, she is having a non-existent relationship in her head with a man that is imaginary. Isn't it fun when people create the reality they want and then act like it is real life?

"...and even if I do trust Wes, I am here to figure out if me and Wes are right together. And I need to spend time together with Wes to make my own decision."

Such a big girl. You make your own decision.

Side note... was I the only one that wanted to throw a rock at the TV when she said "Weehhh-eeessssssssssssssss" like 400 times? Is that the only flirtatious retort you can come up with against forced banter from a city slickin', wanna-be cowboy?

Unauthentic Country singing...Tool.

So anyway... they coincidentally pulled up their cruisers to a random gazebo and found a picnic spread awaiting them. That probably wasn't planned. And it was probably someone else's food. ;)

Bike ridin Tool.

Jillian sat most uncomfortably with her legs in a perfect L-stretch, pre-run position while Wes sat so far from her he had to raise his voice to be heard. Meanwhile Jillian notably analyzed every word that came out of his mouth. She posed the question of him being the "one"... and asked him how it would work out in terms of relocating. He gracefully answered, "That bird has no foot!! What's wrong with me? #$*@#!"

Then after a painfully long pause... and reassured her with, "I think we'll be just fine". Translation: We'll be just fine, because I'm not the one and my pretty boy self belongs in the city with my girlfriend. (Who I must say, must have some major self-respect issues. I couldn't imagine dating a guy who had the audacity to even suggest a thing like going on a reality dating show for publicity. Talk about desperate! Could you imagine all of your friends... and your parents!! (gasp!) watching Mr. Schmuck kiss another woman and fight for her affections?! Pretend or not, I would never want to show my face around town with that sneaky snake again!)

It doesn't require a PhD in body language to come to the conclusion that Wes isn't into Jillian... AT ALL. Remarkably, Jillian just figured this out. (Perhaps her PhD in naive counteracted her PhD in body language... which was also evident when she willingly allowed Mr. Tanner-foot-fetish-creep to get his jollies with her feet. Why did she keep some weirdo deviant around for so long? Oh, that's right... they both enjoyed the knowledge they shared of nail polish colors. Mango Mango, anyone?)

Creep.

But that's not the good part. So they go to dinner... He goes ahead of her to pull out her chair an announces in a mumble something about being a "gentleman here". hahaha UMMM... HELLO?? If you have to point out that your actions are gentlemanly, the odds are... you are NOT a gentleman! Real gentleman perform thoughtful actions like pulling out chairs and opening doors... without even thinking about it! It is natural. They don't draw attention to it because they don't have to!! What an idiot.

Awkward. Tool.

So they sit down... and the conversation is the only thing more awkward than the body language.
He took charge of making things right with, "I'd like to clear the table... clear the air... whatever." Yeah, Mr. Smooth. You do that. You clear that table... you clear the air... clear the room...do what you gotta do.

He boldly revealed that his manager thought it would be a great idea to come on the show... so long as he did not leave after the first episode.

Tool.

And he made perfect sense when he logically explained, "If I came here to sell records, I've already played you a song. I've already did the full band thing... I've already showed you what I do... why would I still be here?" Ummm... What is a free trip to Spain?? DING. DING. Correct answer, Melissa! You are a true master of the obvious! And our new Jeopardy! champion! Johnny! Tell her what she's won!

Oh...hi girlfriend in Austin. I'm a tool.

Then... when Jillian starts calling him out on his obvious behavior and confronts why he has shown her NO affection all day... including not even a single kiss... he responds with... "I am thinking... what if she doesn't want to kiss me? What if I try to kiss her and she turns away! *while physically demonstrating with a turn of the cheek*" hahaha! Yeah, buddy. She picked you to be in her final FOUR in Spain... because she is afraid to kiss you. Never mind the fact that you've ALREADY kissed in previous episodes. That was a good one. You are really quick on your feet.

Oh hey! Tool.

He then swooned her with sweet nothings like, "I'm not here to hurt you, but I have to be true to myself. Numero uno is most important here."
Number one is most important here?? What does that even mean? I will marvel at the philosophical weight and significance of such an eloquent morsel of claptrap for many a days.

I'm thinking of a word... and it begins with T... Oh yeah! Tool.

Then Jillian starts grilling him about this so-called girlfriend named Laurel. She asks why she broke up with him... because of our...uh... differences. It took Laurel six years to realize that you two had differences??

I didn't really get the next part... she asks him to pretend that she is Jake and to replay exactly what he told him... word for word. So he starts out, I told him... "My girlfriend.... I mean ex girlfriend..." And that completed his sentence. So... was he trying to reenact how Jake could have misinterpreted his "slip up" by calling his ex-girlfriend his girlfriend? OR did he slip up to Jillian? I think it was the first scenario... but the continuous previews and replays of those few words seem to be some huge revelation. I thought it was overacted and overplayed. And quite corny. And part of me (or, more accurately, MOST of me) feels like this is all set up anyway. So he "supposedly" slips up that he has a girlfriend... pauses... and says nothing further.

No, no... it gets better!!

I KNOW!

This is my favorite part... EVER. The waiter (or stage hand... or whoever) delivers the envelope which contains the loosey goosey fantasy suite room key. He reads the invitation out loud... la dee dah... this and that... if you should decide to forego your individual rooms... you have the option of spending the night together in the loosey goosey fantasy suite room.

Looky who we have here... a tool.

So the whole night of awkwardness rests upon this moment. So obvious that he is going home at this point... so obvious that he is a schmuck... but just in case there was even a single person with any doubt... Wes pauses, deep in thought... and says (in a voice that could only resemble Bill Clinton, himself):

I THINK WE SHOULD.... Actually.

hahahaha!!!! Seriously? It was the most weird, uncomfortable, gauche, uncouth, bizarre, perplexing, unfathomable and completely perfect response... one you can only expect from Mr. Schmuck face himself.

haha... that's right. Tool.

Needless to say, she decided to "skip" that invitation... suddenly realizing that "it was really clear that he has something to hide." She continued to commentate that she knows he has a girlfriend but more than anything... she really just feels sorry for him. And to evidence that, she held his hand all the way to the cab. Awww... well that was sweet.

I suppose I do commend her for choosing to NOT partake in the fantasy room invitation (One of the things I hate most about the show... I have a major opposition with this, morally.) Except of course with Ed... who I have a bad feeling about, too. I'll tell you what... I think he is a sneaky snake, too. Not in terms of having a girlfriend... but in terms of being completely self-absorbed. Test me, you will see. Although none of them particularly stand out to me... I think my vote is for Reid. He seems to be the most genuine, sincere guy of the bunch. And I "get" his humor. Even if he is a little goofy. I loved how Jillian got so "turned off" by Kipton saying that an engagement might be far off. What? 12 weeks... or however long this show goes on for... isn't long enough? And out of those weeks... you have MAYBE 4 one-on-one dates?


Seriously though, wouldn't you LOVE to see a bachelorette where they made these guys plan, choose and fund their own dates with her? I mean... isn't that reality? And isn't this a reality show? Forget a 12 day train ride through the rocky mountains... or enjoying a view of the world from an ice lounge... or frolicking around in a public fountain in Spain (with disgusted bystanders watching in horror).

I want to see every single guy take her out to Outback (yes, this is a special occasion!) and then to a movie or some putt putt. And that is as creative as it ever gets. Or having to choose real love... between a guy that can only afford dinner and a movie... or enjoy the fabulous lifestyle of a guy that can afford to jet away to an exotic island. Lets see where these girls hearts really are. I'm pretty sure it is easy to fall in love with just about anyone when your time is occupied with over-the-top activities and globe-trotting. What happens when the big bucks of Hollywood aren't making these average guys seem so cool? And seriously... why does every home town date display fabulous mansion homes for their families? Do they pre-screen these guys to make sure their family is wealthy?? I mean, c'mon. Where's the reality?
Should we keep watching this unrealistic circus of a show upon which nothing is grounded in reality and everything is filled with forced drama that is probably scripted anyway?!?

I think we should... actually. ;)

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